Singlehood: Its Not All About You

I have this long overdue debate in my head on why's what's and when's.  I need a good remember the past only this saturday mission to end this feud.

I felt like I was having a lot of conversations in my head revolving around my past relationships, and I was coming up empty. Looking back I spent a lot of the past year to what I like to call the “pseudo relationship.” These pseudo relationships would last anywhere from 2 weeks to six months and would usually be a roller coaster ride…. And not the fun kind, but the ones where you are sick for over half of it and are pretty sure you are going to throw up your funnel cake.

The end of those pseudo relationships was always terrible since I really didn’t know what happened and it left me with my own thoughts to create reasons why it ended. None of those reasons did me, or my confidence, any favors.

But Then I realized something.

Its not all about ME. They werent just right for me. I have always known if it will be a right relationship (not sure if it will last forever) but it feels right versus just for the sake of being coupled up for the holidays. 

*If you feel like you are in a relationship that makes the worst version of yourself, do you even step back and realistically asses the relationship? Yes. Relationships that are right are mostly about to two adults into a relationship that makes them grow together not against each other.

*If the relationship makes you revolve around that person. Should you stay? No. You lose your independence. You lose YOU in the process.

I am not married nor in a relationship status at the moment but YES! I am happy being me.

The View From The Top

I've always been a restless soul.  I can't be in one place for a very long time or I will soffucate. It has been a constant struggle to focus and get the goals finished in time when restlessness crawls in. It is funny how life is good and yet you feel empty inside. And then you feel hopeful when you are in desperate situation. Its a weird mix and match and it has its balance. I am weird I have come to accept that reality.

Loneliness is my constant companion and I don't mind his presence. I am ok being by myself. I have tons of friends, the real - since 7 years old loyal - friends that you hang out sometimes but I like the solitude and the endless fun debate I have in my head. The tranquility of relaxing with silence and hanging out with just a book by the beach or in the mountains.